The most accurate description of Google’s "Help" Forums I’ve read

Ever tried to use Google’s Help Forums to actually get, y’know, help? I have. Awful. Daniel M. recently asked for guidance solving a Google problem & when someone suggested trying Google’s Help Forums, Daniel responded with this¹:

Help forums. Ha. Might as well write my problem in the dirt on the side of a city bus and hope someone reads it.

Yep. That pretty much describes how helpful Google’s forums really are.